This was gonna be a blog about how all I want from life is to see all the beauty I can and make everyone I can happy. But then I realized that it never seems to work out for me to say "all I want"--it's a lot like saying "never" (good in concept, not so good in reality). Think about it. Life is multifaceted, blanket statements don't usually fit.
For example, yeah, I want to make other people happy, but I want to be happy too. People talk about those who put others first, but you can't really know what everyone else wants. Sometimes all you can do is make yourself happy and hope it rubs off.
As for beauty, yes I want to see it and feel it, because I have before, and that was amazing. But I don't think I could appreciate the beauty if I didn't see the ugly things too. Can't understand the good side of a person if you've never seen the bad. Can't see the beauty from the top of a mountain clearly if you haven't also seen the mountain 5 miles away with the top blown off. See, what makes beauty is partly the fact that it's extraordinary. Different. There's really beauty in just about everything. Even starvation, pain, suffering, destruction..... It's not at all a comfortable kind of beauty; having to witness it is in itself painful. But it's still there, terrible, poetic beauty.

And each person is like.... idk.. have you ever thought about all the people around you? What
their lives are like? What they think? Have you ever really realized that everyone around you thinks?
Have you ever thought about money, all the hands it's passed through?
My dad found a nickel from 1943 the other day and gave it to me.
I took it out of my pocket in English and looked at it, thought about it.
About how much has changed since that nickel was minted.
WWII ended, Hitler died, Malcolm X and MLK and JFK and John Lennon and thousands more like them died, the 50's and 60's and 70's and 80's and 90's and 2000's happened..
A whole generation or more, millions or even billions of people, died.
Several generations, billions and billions, were born.
Most of the population on the earth then doesn't live today, a whole nother group of people, each with his/her own thoughts and ideas and opinions and likes and dislikes and joys and sorrows and life....
I sat in English, and I looked at where the numbers and letters had rubbed away. And I thought about the oil of the fingertips of the hundreds of thousands of people whose hands touched that coin and collectively rubbed at it, each taking microscopic bits of metal with them.
Have you ever thought about that? The fact that each one of the hundreds of thousands of people that have touched any given coin and rubbed away bits of the writing, that every single one of those people has a seperate life, a seperate mind, a seperate story? That every cent and dollar is like a mosaic of stories and lifetimes and tragedies and comedies held on less than a square inch of metal? And then every lifetime is itself a quilt of tragedies and comedies and love and loss and joy and peace and anger and passion and indifference....... Basically, in that little circle of lifeless alloy is the story of a whole civilization, a whole culture.
Things like that. There's a story, quite often a powerful, moving story, behind everything, so far as I can tell.